爱情是？

爱情是？？

有人说过，爱情是个甜甜圈。

因为爱情的路是园的，远远看就像一个大大的圆圈。

那么空出来的中心是什么？

我认为是一种障碍，一种考验。

每个人都不会在那个甜甜圈的同一个地点出发。所以要和对方相遇，就要看缘分了。

如果两个人一起跑的速度一样，两个人的距离就不会减少。
一起跑不是不好，如果你们的出发点不一样，是很幸苦的。如果终点是一致，幸苦后的幸福。 若不一样，幸苦后的不幸。

如果一个人跑，一个人等，他们会相遇到对方。
怎样跑都好，也会相遇，可能是终点，也可能是起点。

如果一个人跑得快，一个人跑得慢。他们也是会相遇到对方，只是比较慢。
可能会错过了，但是还是会相遇。可能是一种幸福吧，能跑着喜欢的人曾经跑过的路。

如果两个人都不跑，一直停留在原地，就不会有结果了。
但是一起在同一点而不跑，就另一种说法了。

为什么一定要跑？不能事先和对方交流一下而决定跑而不跑呢？

因为空缺的中心像一座山阻挡了我们彼此的视线。

甜甜圈的道理也很好笑，因为你所在的甜甜圈，不一定是你喜欢的人也会在。

直到你找到了，你都不知道谁是你的缘分。

在此祝福找到对方的人幸福快乐。

One Year Chapter 2: The result

During the wait for my report, I still continued my normal life even through the medicine can't fully remove the problem I'm facing at the moment. However, the medicine did wake me up for going to work. Normally I would be late for an hour, with this medicine I managed to wake up late for 5 - 10 minutes late. Besides working life, I started to lead a charity organization to help out in other charity events. In the past, I would mostly take part in a certain team for charity until one of the team leader had to migrate to another country, so it was decided for me to be a temporary leader till everything is sorted out. 1 week before promised duration for my report to be out, the doctor called and requested me collect my report as soon as possible. Without delay, after my work I went to meet my doctor for my report.

When I entered the doctor’s room, I saw two more doctors around. At first sight, I thought they are just trainees. After formal introductions from my doctor, only did I notice my problem is not a normal issue anymore. The first doctor who explained to me about my unusual illness was a brain specialist. After 10 - 15 minute of explanations, I'm just able to grasp the surface about certain parts of my brain having something, causing it to affect my sleeping hours.

After that brain specialist's explanation, I have another specialist do some explanation for my situation, A Cancer specialist. The main cause of my situation is due to the part of my brain that had mutated and become a brain tumor. However, this tumor will not result in my death or rather it will put me into a permanent sleep; or in the worst scenario, a coma. As this tumor is placed in a peculiar part of my brain which renders an operation impossible to remove it.

After all explanations, I had no expression on my face but shock. I suddenly feel that my world is so terribly empty and quiet until I accidentally knocked down my doctor's pencil case which was near my hand, I was brought back to reality. I had nothing to ask besides what to do to cure my illness and how long I can still live as a normal man.

One Year Chapter 1: A year ago

Well, I'm just a normal guy with friends, family and my career. Even I'm newly graduated from my college and gotten lucky for getting into my current career as programmer. For few years of working, I'm manage to get into certain project and built up my fame. Until recently, Company decided to raise my rank and salary for rewarding sucess of the project I'm involved. Beside of my career as programmer, I'm also involve in photography and do some outing and photosession with my friend. Life seems greats and happy for me, I'm feel satisfy with my current life style. When everything seems smooth to me, I'm starting facing a problem which is I'm unable to wake on time. At the starting of this symptom, I'm only late for 5 min. Slowly it become 10 min, 15min and worst come to worst 1 hour even with a room full of alarm. Even through i tried some alternative way such as sleep earlier, however it is still the same. Once I enter my sleep, it will slowly increase consumption of my time for sleep. Even it doesn't affect my ability for doing my task, but it is greatly reduce my time for performing daily routine.
So I decided bring forward my annual full body check up and request additional check up for my problem. Usually my full body check up will just take 1 day for getting all information. However it takes few weeks for completing all check up, including getting appointment for doing CT scan. After completion of all check up, i return to my daily life with some medicine to try reduce my current problem. I had been asked to return to hospital to get my report in a month times. So i just have to wait for result while continue my daily life.

One Year Prologue

The handle of my watch had just passed nine while I was enjoying my city night view at the top of the roof of a shopping complex. While I had enjoyed the view, I had also been photo shooting and blogging for my last post of my 1 year’s time. Just a year ago, I was just like one of those people walking on the streets now, enjoying my life with my friends, and working for my career and passion for photography. At that time, I never thought that this would happen to me. But I learned to accept and go with it after I found out.
"Life is too short to feel depressed, either is it too short to enjoy"
Everything started from a year ago, which really changed me in many ways.

散场的拥抱

"我们分手吧"....
这一句话在我脑海里徘徊, 却一直说不出口.
但是我知道我不能不说.

我把她约在我们常去的戏院,用了 "想去看新上映的一部片" 当借口.
与以往一样,都是我在等她十五分钟, 唯一不同的是我等她的心情不一样了.
在这短暂的十五分钟, 我回想我们之前的回忆.

在这戏院,有我们的开始, 第一次牵手, 第一次接吻, 第一次吵架和很多很多的曾经.
和以往一样, 我都在五分钟前买好甜味的爆米花.
我们的约定, 甜味的爆米花代表今天是特别的日子.
对于我或你........ 今天是我们特别的日子.

终于到了我们约好的时间,  今天的她和以往一样让我的目光无法从她身上转移.
她一步一步地走过来,  她做的第一件事情是露一张鬼面后偷吃我手上的爆米花.
然后就跷着我的手问到 "亲爱的,今天是哪一间播放室?"
我特别选了我们第一次约会的播放室.  她的心情也很好, 我们就闲聊了一下.
时间一到, 我就牵着她的手慢慢地走进去. 这是一部喜剧, 就如我所愿, 她很喜欢这部电影.
看着她的笑容, 我的情绪就变的很复杂. 短短的一部电影, 我的脑海就想看走马灯一样, 我们的回忆一幕一幕的从播.

电影播完了, 我就抱着她. 仿佛我就要永远失去她地对她说....."我爱你"
她也回我说爱我, 然后我就让她先离开. 当她消失在我眼前, 我传了"我们分手吧"的短讯给她.

不出所料, 她一直打电话给我.只是我没接听.

她很匆忙地打电话给我, 她没发现我的电话铃声已经变成她最爱听的铃声.我一边看着她, 一边拿住一束红玫瑰, 慢慢地走向她.我向工作人员打了个手势, 全场播着她最爱听的歌.
她看见了我, 就跑向我这抱着我...... 我把她移开一点, 就蹲下来向她求婚. 她不明不白, 但是她马上答应了我.

我对她说:"我想结束我们男女关系是为了建立我们未来的婚姻, 我爱你, 永远都不会离开你"

P.S: 这是虚构的故事, 如有类同, 那就抱歉了~~

Year End now~~~

Today is a struggling day for me. Ever since i lost my laptop, i feel i want to get many many thing to replace it.

For example, i plan to get a MacBook for my laptop replacement. yet it is too expensive. so thought of getting more memory card or external hard disk. but i still cannot decide which 1 is better.... yet all of them is nice. and i doesn't have enough money to get it.

Then i think about Ipod touch 4. However.... after deep thinking, it is kinda luxury to me.

How about Iphone 4? thought want to sign up for data plan in digi center... however... it doesn't has any machine left for me.

Then i think about Ipad.... but it cannot help me transfer data from a memory card to external hard disk.
hmm..... all of them still a luxury for me.

after think and think and think, i still prefer a Macbook for replacement of my laptop. but kinda want a gamming console like ipod touch/ipad/iphone. in term of online method, iphone/Macbook is kinda choice of mine.

After consider so much... i didn't get any of those.... Reason is... i doesn't have the money to support all those..... haiz.... sad

Unknown Title Story

My life is in darkness.
This is what i keep telling myself about before have my eye on you.
By the first sight i have on you, my life turned into endless nightmare.

That's why i tell myself to changed.
Change to someone that you will fall for him.
Someone that you willing to do anything for him.
Someone that will make you regret for showing up infront of him.
Someone will take away your smile forever.

While i planning for this revenge,
i also in a changing process for this revenge,
i also doing fact gathering on you for this revenge.

Then i take my 1st step for create a impressive first meeting with you.
2nd step for letting you have faith in our meeting.
3rd step for you to believe we destined together
4th step is letting you to come for me.
and the 5th step, is the step i hurt you personally.

When i in my 2nd step, i start to doubt myself about my action.
When i in my 3rd step, i wonder how wonderful if this not a revenge.
When i in my 4th step. i feel i should really be away from you.
In the 5th step, you know about my revenge, and you really being hurted,
At the same time, i'm also bieng hurted when i saw you running away with your tears.

After that day, i didn't go find you anymore.
Because i'm understand that i'm not worthy for you.
Day 2 after you run, i receive a letter from you.
It is written before that day, i'm finally know how stupid am i.
But i didn't return any letter to you.

After receiving the 1st letter from you,
Every single day i receive a letter from you.
Every letter is a day before each other.
Every letter let me feel regret.
Every letter urge me to find you.
But i'm no courage to face what i have did.

During this period,
I'm regret why i have to do this.
why should i hurt you,
and why i didn't go look for you.

On the very next day i receive the letter from you which written on our first official meeting.
You come to me with a letter.
Without any saying,
i hugging you with all my might.
i just keep telling you,
"I love you"

You didn't push me back,
We hug together without giving a damn to the world around us.
this moment is the moment i never dare to dream off.
"The Moment of Happiness"

After we calm down,
she come into my room with me.
she is impressed that i have all her letter on the wall of my room.
Then we have read the letter she carry along.

And..... We finally believe in "Love at the first sight"

Excuse & Reason

Among Excuse and Reason,

What really make them different?

Reason is the original motive for us to perform certain things.
Excuse is the good / bad intention of lie after we perform things.

When people ask our reason on doing things, they usually assume all explained reason as a Excuse. Especially you screw up certain things.

When we drunk, we usually do not think before act. End up we using Drunk as our Excuse as a shield to make us better. When it act as a sword that hurt other people.

So why we really need to have this two different things? what happen if we doesn't know anything called Excuse since we born. Will the world become better? Or This world doesn't have anything called Reason. Will the world become more straight forward?

Actually, i end up need to figure out myself. If we really look into it, we are masterpieces of conflict. Everything we do required us to choose.

Example of the conflict:
Actually i do not have any reason to write this post (Reason)
So, the reason i make this post is because i suddenly found this topic can be a post. (Excuse)

So..... actually Excuse and Reason has their own similarity.

The similarity is both also can be our action origin. Another saying is, The Answer is Come From Excuse or Reason or Both.

Love question?

Actually, i really had not got into any Love Relationship. So i really wonder how couples deal with their relationship. Eventually, i found that almost all people will hide those fact from almost everyone. Weird? This is not weird but it is a self protection for themselves. Because, all of them scare their relationship will be broken or stolen by other when they share their story. So, if you ask them about their past, they will mostly tell you yet not for telling the current love story of their.

So example, When you ask them how to deal with a love problem while letting them know you are not in love or anything, they might not tell you the truth of their thinking.

The Following Question is the question that i asked among all my friend regardless they in relationship or not.

Case Study
You and Your BF/GF is in a very steady relationship, and both of you treat each other quite well. But suddenly Your BF/GF told you this.

"You are not the one I love most, but i love you."

How would you react?

Answer From Male:

Male A : "I Love you too, so let's break up"

Me : " Why you want to break up?"

Male A: "So that she can be together with the one she love most"

 

Male B : "Slap X10000"

Me : "To me or your gf?"

Male B : "Her"

Me : "Are you sure you can do it?"

Male B : "I will but she never say this to me, so i never do this to her"

 

Male C : "Nothing but keep in heart"

Me : "Will not do anything?"

Male C: "Yes"

 

Male D : "Dunno what to do, so will not do anything, just will remember"

Me : "Then, will you do anything special?"

Male D : "None, i will still love her"

 

Male E : "U R THE MOST I LOVE"

Me : "Great confession"

Answer From Female:

Female A : "Break up!"

I have no further clarify with her since i very shocked.......

 

Female B : "i will tell him: today i not ur most lover, but furture i will do,. and i'm the 1 cross hand with him till the end"

Me : "Wonderful!"

Female B: "Differenet living exprience"

 

Female C : "Same bah"

Me : "....... ok"

Female C : "Since we still not yet married, we still can change "

 

Female D : "Dunno"

Me : "Will not do anything?"

Female D : "Really Don't know how to answer this"

  

Female E : "Do Nothing"

Me : "Will you keep in your heart?"

Female E: "Secret~"

 

Female F : "I don't want to answer"

Me : "Just simple interview question?"

Female F: "I don't want to answer"

 

So what other answer will available? you all can leave your answer in the comment box or choose among of them such like Female A answer, F-A or male B answer, M-B

 

Feeling~~~

Feeling, what an important element in our life.

Do we always rely on this element in our life? For me, I do.

I do agree when we have feeling toward to our work, it will progress greatly compare to those has no feeling toward their work. Yet, Feeling is also a double edge in everything.

Example, When we love our job or we have our passion toward our job. Our job will be done very quickly, nicely and quality. But when we hate our job, we will do everything slowly and lazy to improve ourselves.

So, Feeling will affect our working life. What about other?

Love?

Old old time, people will say, love require similar status, background and family. Then Old time, people will say feeling is must for Love. Now???

Current version of Love required more than just feeling, status, background and family. Among all girl in the world, Many but not all of them is just based on feeling yet include materialistic idea in it. Don't you all agree?
I'm sure some of them sure disagree as they really not materialistic. But are you sure you are not materialistic? Materialistic in Love can be almost anything, like for guys who want a "pretty" girlfriends, otherwise, girl want a "Handsome" boyfriend. So, please don't tell me that is feeling for you all to fall in to love.

If you all ask me, do I believe true love? I do. Yet those true love is just a guide, history or a dream for others. How many people is having true love in current social network? I won't say none of them, but at least i'm sure most of them is not.

Feeling in Hobby?

Certain hobby require feeling. Such as photography. Photography....... quite a deep field in my dictionary. People always say this is not photography, that is photography,..... this and that.... so what is photography?
My definition is when photographer take the picture with happy mood, then model also happy and finally all reader or observe like it. That is the photography for me.

And yet, i still very amateur in photography, so i quite surprise for so many other people to involve themselves in. Feeling..... yes.... we need feeling for each picture to make the picture more nature.

How to see feeling in the picture? For my case, when i saw a picture, i hope the 1st impression will be bit of  "motion-like" mean.... the picture is not "dead". Actually we can always saw this, those "dead" picture, everything in it seems "dead". "dead" picture also a type of photography, but it has no feeling in it.

so...... time for me to continue my work....... tata~~~tata~~~

New Start of a Never Ending Life

Hi guys and gals who reading my blog.

I got a Question to ask you all before i get proceed with this post.

"What is a blog?" or "Does blog having any meaning for you all?" or In short, "What do you want from a blog?"

As i previously created many many blog yet i stop blogging for quite a long time, somehow i feel like i wasting certain domain storage. So end up i get a decision to put everything that i wanted to write into this blog.

I'm not sure how you all feel about my blog name, yet i feel that, once we join blogging, our Life will never end~~

So this also a declaration for my new start in my blogging life.

However, today i think i get some curse from someone for having flu during my working period. Just hope that people will stop cursing me TT^TT